First off, the finals slam marked the one year anniversary of my very first slam, my 22nd birthday, and the most amazing night of my life. I know I can’t give an objective take on what happened Sunday, so I wont try, this is going to be me talking about the best night ever.

In the last year of poetry for me, I’ve gotten a 4 from a very friendly judge, a 30 from a tough group, I’ve won slams, and gotten crushed. I’ve slammed some really bad poems and had some great moments. I know I’m better than when I started and these last few months have been a real concentrated effort to be the best at this that I can be. I can not stress how much I was just excited to be there, like PSU in the NCAA tournament a couple years back, I expected to get blown out of the water. I went in so nervous I was forgetting poems I haven’t even written.

Backspace was amazing! We packed the house, people standing everywhere, sitting on the floor, bobbing heads to try and see what was happening on stage. I feel blessed that my whole family and most of my friends were able to make it to cheer me on and witness what it is I do with all my time.

The night was mostly a blurred mess shuffling between sweat fits, body shakes, and fresh air breaks. I was competing to make a Nationals Team in an event I didn’t know existed two years ago, I was competing against the people who have shaped my writing into what it is, and I was doing it in front of well over a hundred people. I had the greatest night, cheering loudly for every amazing poem, being touched by lines, and watching as Portland showed up to bring it.

As far as the results go the top five made the national team:
Eirean Bradley
Anis Mojgani
Davey Mac
Annelyse Gelman
and Me

The rest of the finalist who did amazing and who really slammed the shit out of last night were:
Randy Darris
Mellisa Rose
Phil Long
Dlux The Light
Justin Searns

I can’t really begin to explain how pumped I am to go to Nationals, to be thought of as good enough to make the team, to get to work with the best poets in Portland. I really can’t. I just want to say a very big thank you, to everyone who came to the slam, those I know, those I don’t, those I do now. I want to thank the judges and I can’t wait to earn it at Nationals in Minnesota.

Let me know if you have any questions if you want me to tell you what I thought about anything last night I’d be down. Sorry that this isn’t clinical, I just can’t do that now.

Write Love Slam!

Far Fathers:
I imagine there is something I could’ve done
Something I could have said
Something I could’ve broken
To make you stay a little bit longer
Even if it were just to yell at me
Maybe then it wouldn’t taken an extra ten minutes
To forget your cologne
Maybe it would’ve taken ten extra minutes
To forget your cheek bones
Maybe if what I had done had been so bad
Maybe that would’ve giving me an extra hour
To remember you
But my mom tells me there is nothing I could’ve have done
That would’ve made you stay for good
I got myself suspended hoping
The school would call you instead of mom
But they only had our house number
And your postcards didn’t have return addresses
So there was nothing they could’ve done to find you
My mom misses your income I miss your arms
I miss your baseball glove under my pillow
I miss your left hand on my cheek
I miss my black eyes
The school was so concerned about my home life
Back when I had a home
Now I just have hallways with doors that lead to rooms
We don’t go in anymore
My mattress is on the living room floor
And I don’t do my chores
Because you aren’t there to make me
And for all the things I can’t remember about you
I still can’t make myself forget
The color of your tail lights
And no matter what I snort
I can’t seem to burn the smell of exhaust fumes
Out of my nasal cavity
I will forever be eight years old
Forever have a tear stain on my right cheek
Forever know where to put my mom’s head when she cries
I’ve had too much practice at being a man
To ever call you one
There is not a faucet or pipe
That hasn’t leaked since you’ve left
Which is either how long you’ve been gone
Or how little you did while you were here
She says it’s been for the best
Your post cards stopped coming
My cheeks stopped swelling
Your anger stopped echoing in my ears
And now I can’t even remember the tone of your voice
But my mom says it’s a lot like mine
So I try to change it when I’m at home
I didn’t write about you in my college admissions essay
Under the challenges I’ve faced section
Not under the regrets section
Not in the areas to improve section
I put your story under my proudest achievements
Because if there is something that I never intend to do
It’s grow up just like you
No matter how many girls I’ve fucked
There isn’t a single one that could pack a punch like you
Your postcards never had return addresses
But that doesn’t mean I won’t find you
And when I do you better hit me back
It’s the least you could do

Let me give you a lay of the land here in Portland and a little history as far as I’ve been able to gather by eves dropping and being told about it. In the 90′s Portland had a fairly organized slam scene and routinely sent teams to the national competition. However at some point that failed to be a true statement. Since then Portland has not sent a team to nationals and has ceased to be a destination for poets on tour unless they were stopping at Lewis and Clark University. As of a little over a year ago the Portland Poetry Slam was revived and has now established itself as a regular event. Attendance has steadily risen and the quality of features willing to make Portland a stop on their tour has increased culminating in last January’s feature Mike McGee and the upcoming feature at the Valentine’s Day Slam Karen Finneyfrock! With nearly 100 people at the last slam momentum is high.

The recent surge of attendance and attention can be attributed to the consistency and stability the event has been run with as of recent, started by the resurgent slam master Lady Day, and recently through the collective guidance of Eirean Bradley and effort of a few regular poets. With a sense of security and professionalism the talent of the slamming poets, features, and open mic performers has steadily risen, making the judges job much harder. The new organization has given hope that a new slam team will emerge and will be sent to St. Paul to represent the Rose City at the National Poetry Slam at the end of the summer. At current the Portland Poetry Slam is in the home stretch of it’s re-inaugural season. In very similar to Nascar fashion throughout the season there has been a points race amongst the poets who have competed in the slam. With 10 points awarded for first, 5 points for second, and 3 points for third. At the end of the season April 11th the top 8 poets will be invited to participate in the Portland Poetry Slam Grand Championship on April 25th. The top five finishers of the finals will be awarded spots on the Portland Poetry Slam Team!

It is all very exciting and has me personally really pumped up. However, there are some challenges facing the future of a slam team in Portland. The first is maintaining attendance levels. Outside of the recent moment gained by amazing well known features including Mike Mcgee, Karen Finneyfrock, and University of Washington Poetry Slam Team; the attendance has been pretty up and down. Attendance is a requirement of Poetry Slam Inc Registration. The second challenge is funding, registration for nationals is an expensive prospect, though the organization is non profit it does cost to register to help cover the cost of a venue, hotel, and operating costs. Plus sending five poets from Portland to St. Paul isn’t cheap. As a result the Portland Poetry Slam asks for a $5 dollar donation at the door. A fair price to pay to see great poetry often the feature alone is worth the cover. However, without an absolute surge in attendance the $5 donation will hardly cover the cost of nationals which will result in the need for fundraising in advance of the event.

All of these conditions, however, don’t dampen my belief that a Portland Poetry Slam Team with represent our beautiful city in the National Slam in St. Paul 2010. With the emergence of excellent leadership and a willingness from poets to participate in helping run and operate the events I have no doubt that all obstacle will be overcome.

That’s my brief overview and history of the Portland Slam scene, I hope to continue a series of reports some centered around individuals, local events, the progress of team establishments, the results of slams, and much more. Stay tuned for that I’m really quite excited to get myself into the scene and start asking questions I clearly need to ask to stay up to speed.

Write, Love Slam.

1) Publishing
-I’m currently in the saving money stage of publishing Something Hard To Write On. I’ve found a printer, had it edited, have a cover, designed page layout, have it waiting in PDF format to be sent out. As soon as extra cash comes my way it’ll be on the way and ready to be read.
- My roommates and I have come up with a great idea for a chapbook that I hope to have put together by the time the real book is published. That way I can have both available, that one is really just waiting for a new ink cartridge for the printer, and a lot of paper bags!

2) Writing
- I write something new just about everyday. On my days off I write two or three pieces. Out of every ten pieces I write about one or two are slam worthy and are put in the “To Perform Next” folder, the rest sit in the “Poems” folder. I’ve been trying to write something no poetry related everyday as well but that gets hard.

3) Blogging
- The non poetry related thing will most likely tend to be here I’m sure. I’ve been pretty lax in my writing on my blog and that’s something I am looking to change by adding new dimensions. I slipped into feeling that I had run out of things to offer but I’ve been exploring new types of information I want to share. Part of that will be reporting on the slams, live poetry events around Portland, news and notes on the scene, and probably some shout outs to some of my favorite local poets.

4) Slamming
- I’ve been fortunate enough to go to three consecutive slams for the first time since I’ve started slamming and it’s been wonderful to really start and develop a relationship with some of the regulars. I’m proud to announce that as of the latest standings I’m first in the points race for a chance to compete to be on the national team. I’ll explain more about all of this in today’s second post. The difficult thing for me is living an hour and a half away and having to work around a work schedule makes it difficult to commit to too much involvement.
- Another commitment I’m hoping to make is to start keeping my dates up to date to help people know where I’m going to be on the main website. I’ll start by letting you know the Portland Poetry Slam is my home and it is every 2nd and every Last Sunday of every month, which includes this Valentine’s Day, and the 28th of this month as well.

5) Features
- Just two more updates I promise! My new years resolution is to feature a poetry event this year. As of yet I haven’t gone out and made any effort to book a reading, or talk to other Oregon slams about featuring. So there should be at least one event not at the Portland Poetry Slam this year.

6) Misc. Projects
- I have a few ideas for future projects that I’d love to make happen in the next year which include a chapbook of poetry centered around a piece I wrote called “It’s Like That” with each poem building from that one central piece.
- I am also starting to record audio tracks of some of my poems as well as starting to compile some video in hopes that sometime soon I’ll be able to think about a CD and a DVD which has been a bit of a brain child of mine for a while.

So that was just a ‘quick’ update on things going on for me, I’m going to start writing a post right now to start a new direction for some of the post here reporting on the Portland Slam scene.

So though it’s not a good idea to change your writing for the slam, it is a good idea to pick a poem that is better suited for a poetry slam, I’ve got three things to look for when you’re going through your pieces to see which one is going to get you to the finals.

#1 Time:
Poetry slams have a three minute time limit, that’s pretty universal. You want to think of it as Bob Barker Bowling as close to it without going over, so 2:59 is better than 1:30. There is no set page length for finding the right poem the only way to know for sure is to read it out loud with a stop watch near you. If you have a short choppy lines it may be a three page piece if you write in paragraph long sentences maybe just one. Reading a piece to yourself is also integral to number two.

#2 Performance
After you’ve gone through and found which of your pieces have the appropriate time length you need to find pieces that are going to do well in the slam environment. The truth of the matter is most slams are in bars or coffee shops where people will be ordering triple shot white caramel mochas in the middle of your soul bearing piece. So you need to pick poems that you naturally get loud during they don’t need to be fast paced necessarily, though that seems to be a consistent trait. So if while your reading a piece out loud you start getting emotional, you start raising your voice, your heart rate speeds up…that’s the one! I have a natural tendency to write these types of pieces so I have a few to pick from which is why I have a need for a third step.

#3 Universal Appeal
It’s hard for a complete stranger who doesn’t know much about poetry to get into a piece about a lost love with a thousand specific stories. Though unspecific love poems aren’t the way to go, and personal touches really do bring out people’s empathies, you want people to be in the same emotional space as your piece. Lost love is a great theme, we’ve all felt it. You just want to make sure other people who don’t know you will be able to grasp on to the universal emotions not just your personal ones. If people are cheering, crying, laughing, or stunned silent at the end of your piece you probably did something right.

Just remember the only way to be successful at a poetry slam is to be yourself, to slam in your own style, to be an original; however, it does help if your not reading a one minute thirty second piece about getting your tonsils removed in the third grade.

Write, Love Slam

I am the only one at your funeral
Not because you aren’t loved
But because I showed up half an hour late
Not because I was drunk
I did it on purpose
Because I know no matter what they said
How many tears they cried
Or how many times they touched your cold dressed face
You never winked
You never snapped your fingers or smirked
And they do not know you like I knew you
So I sit with my feet dangling in a hole
Too deep to pull you out of
But not nearly deep enough to keep you out of my mind
Whispering your favorite poems to you
Hoping the wood in your casket
Regrows its grains into grooves like a record
So you can hear them every time a worm passes over
And the kid who gets paid $9.50 an hour
To put the last period at the end
Of everyone’s life story
Taps me on the shoulder and asks me if I’m done
I say, “No, throw the dirt on anyway though,
I’m just talking to the headstone.”
Besides I could never say goodbye to you
With you looking at me like that
You had this way of looking that pierced my soul
You saw past every iris you met
Making us all feel like liars
And I can’t help but wonder how many beads of sweat
Are pouring off of god’s for head right now
And I want to ask about your grandma
I always liked her
But I have this feeling that would be inappropriate
So I’ll stick to asking you
If they have mirrors in heaven
So you can see your reflection and remind yourself
How beautiful you are on a daily basis
Because I don’t know if I’m going to be able
To make it out here to tell you everyday
Then again if you’re in heaven
You know you’ve done the right things
And you don’t have to be beautiful anymore
But that doesn’t mean you weren’t…
Aren’t…
Weren’t…
I hope you made it
I’m taking what little belief I have
And adding it to all the belief you have
And hopefully that’ll be enough to nudge you in
Because I know you’ve done some bad things
But they’re not nearly as bad as the things I’ve done
So I’m taking all my good deeds
And giving them to you
That should be more than enough to get you in
I just don’t know where to mail the letter
So I’m hoping god can read through envelopes
I put them all in white ones in case manilla ones were too thick
Because he sure as shit can’t read minds
Or you’d still be alive
Sorry I didn’t mean to get worked up
$9.50 has just about earned it
Making sure you never get up to say goodbye
He pats the surface flat
Tips his hat to me and gives me a solemn look
He had to have been practicing the whole time
Or maybe he’s just had a bit too much practice over time
I ask him for a hug
He says yes
And somehow he knew how to hold me just like you
I watch him throw his shovel over his shoulder
Hang his head, move two graves over
And do it again
The dash on your head stone is not nearly long enough
And the grass that will grow above you
Is not the type of life you were meant to nurture
I know everybody dies too soon
But you didn’t live long enough
Your dream list is too full
Your god did not ask nearly enough of you
But I am grateful
That the last time I saw you
You smiled kissed me on the lips
And said, “I love you”
And I said, “I love you too”
I just hope you know I meant it
I hope you know it was true
I did…
I do…
Did…
I do love you

Overwhelmed 20 Something Year Old

She keeps a bar in the window
Of the room she sleeps in every night
It’s there to keep the rapists at bay
She doesn’t bother with the other windows
Because her boyfriend will stop them
If they come in that way
These rapists aren’t a figment of her imagination
Or a ghost from her past
They are a delusion of her present
Yes she was raped
But any lingering feelings she had about that
She fucked away a long time ago
I know they say rape lasts forever
But the bars in the windows are new

He sleeps with the covers off
It’s a lot hotter at night now
Since they stopped opening the windows
He wakes up a lot for his midnight snack
Bagel and cream cheese spread with a spoon
He doesn’t want to bother getting out his keys for a knife
He says, “I know she has issues,
But we all have issues, I have issues
That frankly I’m glad she sees past”
He’s right that we all have issues
But his issues won’t end up killing him
Hers will
I know they say love is forever
But the midnight snacks are new

She wakes up every morning with a smile on her face
Goes to bed every night with tears on her cheeks
The world never lets her have a happy day
She takes a shower and goes to work
Wonders if she’ll get to see him before she hates him
Or is it her love the world wants to take away
She worries he’ll give up on her
That he’ll leave like all the others did
I mean they have sex all the time what else do boys want
If you were going to leave why didn’t you go earlier
You know I’ll just kill my self when you do
So just go now so we can get it over with
I know they say rape is forever
But forever is just so damn long

The suicide threats aren’t new
He may have left a year ago but he can’t now
Not now that she means it
He lingers longer before locking the knife drawer
Every filleted fish is a potential slit wrist
Not that he wants to die it’s that he wants to help
She’s louder every time she yells
He wishes they were fighting that would be the only normal part of their relationship
I mean he loves her so damn much even that’s not normal
Tonight will be the fourth candle lit dinner this week
He read somewhere the dim lighting should soothe her
She thinks he’s just trying to be sweet
But it’ll end the same they’ll make passionate love
She’ll take a shower that lasts just a little too long
And he’ll spend that time plotting her cure
They say love lasts forever
He hopes his suicide will too

All that is well and good and normal and the way the internet has affected just about everything.  The beautiful thing about poetry is how much it really is art.  Recently at the Revival Tour I saw four of my favorite poets play xylophones, an itty bitty piano, a drum, a kazoo, all the while reciting brilliant poetry.  The art form expands, it morphs, it is always changing and the internet is allowing it to do that in a major way.  The video in this post is a narration of a poem written by Eddie White, the voice is Australian actor Nick Cave, and the animation is done by The People’s Republic of Animation.  It is a prime example of the internet’s influence on not only our daily lives but also our art.  I hope you enjoy it, I did and it inspired me to find new ways of expressing and performing my poetry.